November 24, 2011

My Daughters Are Thankful for Chocolate Chips and People Small Enough That They Can Bite Their Heads

Thanksgiving and elections have a lot in common.

Well, one thing at least that I can think of.

I often feel, when someone asks me what I'm thankful for, that I am suddenly running for office.  It's hard to tell if they want the truth, or if they want something to make them feel warm and fuzzy inside: the verbal equivalent of being wrapped in a warm blanket with hot cocoa in front of a fire with a snow gently falling on the silent world around us.

Other than the occasional misanthrope, I am willing to bet that everyone you asked or will ask this week what they are thankful for will reply with the following, or some variation thereof:
My family
Good health
Being employed

When a politician is asked about the economy, Republicans will almost always say "no more taxes" while the Democrats will say "the rich need to pay more taxes."

While all of these responses may be true, they are predictable and boring.  If, somehow, we don't say those things, we are looked at in horror and disgust.

"What are you thankful for, Justin?"
"I'm thankful that Han shot first and was a better shot than Greedo."
"...Is that all you have to say?  What about being thankful that your family is healthy?  What about being thankful that you have a job?  Are you some kind of monster?  I'm thankful that I don't have to spend any more time with a callous, heartless, misanthrope like yourself. Good day to you, sir."
"I'm also thankful that this conversation is over."

So, aside from the typical stuff, here are some things that I am thankful for:

I am thankful that I made it to Thanksgiving without assaulting any of my students enough to be reported.

I am thankful that Seabase, the children's play area that looks like an acre-sized McDonalds' PlayPlace allows adults to accompany children on the apparatus.

I am thankful that more and more people are getting into Doctor Who.  Seriously, the show is excellent.

I am thankful that I liked A Song of Ice and Fire before it was a popular TV show. (Haughtily adjusts homemade hipsters glasses)

I am thankful for this amazing pumpkin dip I made.  Thanks, me!  You're great!  I appreciate your noticing that, me.  Of course!  Any time!

I am thankful for streaming Netflix, although not as thankful as I would be if they had the Muppet movies.

I am thankful for the expanding, hardening foam that helped me to stop the leak in my basement.

I am thankful to PNC for sending me an e-mail when I have money in my account again.

I am thankful to the Republican party for the candidates that it has put forth for President.  This has truly been a magical season so far.  (Take from that what you will)

I am thankful for Spotify allowing me to listen to whatever music I want!

I am thankful to Justin Beiber for not being in or near my house.

Happy Thanksgiving.

You are thankful for two posts in one day!

You are so welcome!



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