February 1, 2010

Back to work... ick

Hi, This is Sara. I managed to post as Justin last time and I don't really know how, but I figured I would just say it was me and hopefully I signed in correctly.
So, I have been pretty busy. I have been able to take the full 12 weeks off with the little baby (and man is she cute!!). It has been absolutely fabulous having all this time with her. I have really loved it and I am split on how I feel about going back to work. On one hand I am very excited to get back to a regular routine, see my co-workers and have some money. On the other, I love my baby so much and I don't really want to leave her. It has been so amazing see her go from this helpless tiny little baby to now when she rolls over, lifts her head, looks at me with a giant smile... how could I leave that? I know I have to, but it won't be easy.
We decided on a daycare for her. I looked at a whole bunch of them. We needed to consider the location, price and how we felt about it overall. I think I am a decent judge of character and I definitely felt like I was being schmoozed (sp?) by a few of the people I talked to, so I didn't even bother going to visit their facility. While I was on the phone with one woman, she was yelling at a little person about their spoon... not good business. So the daycare that we decided on is staffed by all women (I just didn't see any men). And they seemed very nice, friendly, interested in Harper, clean etc. She will probably be at the daycare for about 7 hours a day, so it won't be really long, but it will be long for me to be away.
I am worried about all three of us and dealing with this new adjustment. I am worried about myself because I don't want to end up crying all day and I don't think I will, but yeah I might. I am worried about her, because there will be new people around her, and I don't know if they will take as good of care of her as I would? I know I am paying them to take really good care of her, so I know they will, but there is always that bit of doubt. And then I am really worried about Justin. 1) He has some trust issues regarding her and handing her over to someone else... ( he does realize this) and is willing to give her to these people, but I think it will be rough for him. 2) He is going to be the one dropping her off in the morning. The nice lady, Sharon, that runs the place said that when dropping off for the first week it will be tough and I will cry. I can call as many times as I want to. She didn't realize that Justin will be the one dropping Harper off. When I told her this she said, " Oh dear." Justin was going in to visit the facility and meet the caregivers today, so that he would be more comfortable with them. I am just hoping that he will be OK. 3) It's Justin... you hear how he is in his posts, need I say more?
When you read this Justin, remember that I love you and I just want people to know that you are a great father who is very protective and concerned when giving our daughter to strangers. You have a great support group of other parents and friends that have had to do the same thing, so they will listen and sympathize when you post about dropping her off for the first time. It wouldn't be easy for me to do it either.
Another thing I am worried about is her sleeping patterns. I am hoping that she will be able to get to sleep a little better and stay asleep, so that I can sleep. I am trying not to drink too much caffeine later in the day. I will give her a bath, put on warm jammies and nurse her then she falls asleep. Some nights she will stay awake for a long time or wake up a few times. Does anyone have any suggestions for bed-time routines? Or when to put her to bed? I am just looking for helpful hints if you have some.
Well, I think it is time to play with her some, maybe take some pictures... :) I love doing that. I have a very cute subject, so how can I resist?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain-just be assured that it will be harder for you than it will be for her. Children are amazingly resilient-much more so than we are. She'll go merrily along her way and you'll spend the day with your heart in your throat with worry. This will be the first of many of those times-the hardest because it's the first-but surprisingly, you'll all survive. Good luck-we're thinking of you with love and support.



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