January 18, 2013

My Daughter, The Future Serial Killer

Disclaimer: The following post is not meant to imply a judgement of people who spank their children

Sara and I do not spank our children.  I am opposed to spanking, not just on moral grounds, but because I have seen no evidence that it's effective.  I was never spanked as a child, but some might argue that that's part of my problem.  I know there are plenty of stories of people who got spanked and turned out just fine, but I mean something more than anecdotal.

If someone presented me with a scientific study that stated that spanking a child had behavioral and emotional benefits, I would accept that premise.  I still would not spank my kids, but I might let go of some of my bias about it.

We teach the girls that hitting is wrong.  You could have the following conversation with H:

"She hit me!"
"That wasn't very nice.  What do we do when people hit us?"
"We hug them!!"

We never hit the girls, either out of anger, frustration or discipline.

So it confuses me greatly that B is so violent.  Her response to everything is to smack it, regardless of whether she likes it or not.

Someone takes your toy?  HIT THEM!!
Someone offers you chips?  HIT THEM!!
Someone asks you what you want for dinner?  SMACK THE HECK OUT OF THEM!!!

Someone had a rough day beating up kids for their mashed peas money.

We put her in time-out and tell her not to hit several times each day.  Very little of her violence is malicious.  She usually commits these acts while smiling the sweetest smile, which means one of two things: Either she doesn't fully comprehend what she's doing and sees hitting as a way to interact with the world around her, or she's a psychopath and I should keep an eye out for her to twist the heads off of puppies.

I hope it's not the latter, but just in case, it's another reason that I'll use when asked why we can't have a dog.

That's why Dexter and Deb couldn't have one growing up.

"Hello, ASPCA? I'd like to adopt a dog!"

I'm not really concerned, just confused.  I don't know where she sees this behavior, other than maybe daycare.  The TV that they watch has nothing like this in it, aside from that one episode of Chloe's Closet where they became professional boxers, or the episode of Caillou where Caillou and Leo join the Bloods and get teardrop tattoos.

Other than spanking, I'm wondering what solutions parents have found to this.

Someone crossed my bridge without answering my riddle?  HIT THEM!!



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